he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
