Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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