It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
