drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
