Me too!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
