This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
