I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
