Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
