Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

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(914): View more from New York

We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

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(501): View more from Arkansas

You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later

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(517): View more from Michigan

No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight

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