Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
