Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
