i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
