Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
