Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
