Whod you bang
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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