I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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