I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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