You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
