i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
