I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
