I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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