I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Boobs are out for the taking
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
