That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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