Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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