that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
