I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
