you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wear drunk well.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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