I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
