Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
