After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize