Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
