I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
