I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
