so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize