Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
