Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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