being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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