dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
