I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
