thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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