yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
