shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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