What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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