C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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