Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
