I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are the jesus of drinking
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
