it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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