making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
