She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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