Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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