But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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