I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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