i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
