i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
