Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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