Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
