yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
