I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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