Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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