No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
