Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
