I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
